Last Friday I unexpectedly lost my very dear friend Jill Fleming. She died at home peacefully.
Jill and I met through a mutual friend two weeks after I had moved to San Diego in 2015 and we became inseparable (i.e. soul sisters). She was an anchor in my life – always there for me and pushing my edges.
She was with me when I bought my car and pushed me to be ok driving on the crazy San Diego highways.
She helped me plan my wedding and she was the day-of coordinator too. We went on girl trips, to coaching conferences, we met for spa parties at each other’s houses, pulled oracle cards, did energy work on each other and we had each other’s backs.
Jill was the epitome of a mama bear friend and that was one of the many reasons that made her one in a million. She was bigger than life always in a good mood and ready for a new adventure.
The shock of losing a friend so soon and one so close and dear rocked my world, my faith and certainly my sense of safety and mortality.
Her passing came on the tails of losing my aunt in late June – also unexpectedly.
Grief has dampened my personal joy and what I’ve realized is that since the pandemic began, my level of fear and doom has grown exponentially. In essence, I’ve stopped allowing myself to feel a full sense of joy – often waiting for another shoe to drop.
But as I was gratefully reminded of this week – hope, peace and harmony are STILL available to us as well amidst all the uncertainty. First during my ThetaHealing session where we rebalanced the scales and then last night when a friend texted me her engagement ring and the announcement that she had just bought her first home.
Good still lives in us and around us.
This isn’t to bypass the sorrow and real dangers in the world.
It’s a reminder to keep seeking out and living the good moments that are available too whenever possible.
And the truth is that even happy occasions such as buying a house (as we did last month), having a baby, getting married, starting a new job, getting a healthy diagnosis also comes with a full spectrum of emotions. The polarity of joy and grief, relief and worry, pressure and balance.
When we moved into our house, the forest fires around us were raging. So much so that we couldn’t go out for several days (except to quickly walk the dog) because the air quality from the smoke was so hazardous. It was a rude awakening to a new life situation. Once again joy was met with a new fear.
With everything happening in the world now, I believe that the opportunity before us is one where we get to both expand the breadth and depth of our capacity to feel ALL of our emotions – without judgement, hesitation or fear.
What could that look like in YOUR life? To trust that in feeling the full expression of vulnerability that comes with being human: for example: joy, grief and loss, you can feel it all the way through by staying present to the emotion and trusting yourself with them and that life has your back?
I don’t have much more personal insight to share on grief right now which is why I’m relying on my trusted guides to add more wisdom.
While our circumstances are unique to our lives, I know that I’m not alone in experiencing both personal and collective grief, loss, angst and fear. This is why I wanted to bring this topic up today and to share a channeled message in the Akashic Records (see below) to provide further guidance on this topic
Channeled message in the Akashic Records on grief
What is your message for my newsletter community at this time?
Grief is a transition of emotion, time, dimension and space.
Grief is a passing from one state of being into another by honouring the presence, potency, integrity and essence of another while also honouring their presence and contribution to your life.
For some, grief is a right of passage that elevates their human experience to seeing the majesty and Divinity of all life (i.e. that we are infinite beings of light having a human experience).
For others, it is an opportunity to explore their own Divinity, perceptions of mortality and to adjust how they live their lives and the choices they make.
For others, it is an incubation for sorrow, mourning and a way to stay connected to a loved one over an extended period of time.
For others, it is a wake-up call to do things differently, to say the unspoken and to make amends, to forgive and to meet others where they are.
Grief is a transmitter of energy, of potency and above all a reminder of the Divinity within us, within others and that is ALL around us.
Whether your relationship to the deceased was troubled, whether their death was “tragic” or painful or untimely, the process of grief is still the same:it is an invitation to be with yourself and your own Divinity.
This is why death is such a potent teacher.
It is a constant invitation to see beyond the physical realm and to find the answers within ourselves for why we are here, what we seek to do with our lives and more importantly, how we wish to show up for other people and how we wish to give meaning and reverence to our lives.
What is there for them to heal/to assist them with healing?
The healing available through grief is of a deep feeling of emotions that anchors you into your own Divinity, solidifies for you a deeper reverence and meaning of life, and if you choose to believe in it, a deeper connection to your loved ones and the after life.
Each person’s grief is unique – a fingerprint, a kaleidoscope of pieces that form a whole:emotions, beliefs, fears, triggers, loss and stages of reflection, inspiration, expansion and possibilities for much deeper love for yourself, others and the world.
The key is to take time. To honour your process and to honour your questions.
This is not a time for rushing, for judgement or for only sorrow.
It’s a time for joy as well – when you are ready for that stage and for gratitude for the opportunity to experience grief. It is such a beautiful teacher if you let it be.
It’s all in the perspective you choose to take from the experience and how you allow it to shape you.
What can they do right away?
To seek solace, healing, comfort, quiet, connection, creativity, new possibilities and above all a deeper connection to yourself.
It’s ok to stay and to be in the inquiry.
It’s ok to be sad, to feel the loss, to navigate the cycles of grief and sorrow and to give the process free rein in your life.
Find healthy ways to express yourself, to be seen and heard, to give to others (if/when it feels appropriate) and to honour yourself in this magical process.
Yes – it’s painful and it’s hard. AND it can also be beautiful, joyful, magical and truly DIVINE.
Stay present in the moment. Mourn the loss(es), feel the pain AND remember to also KEEP LIVING. You are still here and there is more for you to experience, contribute and to love.
What is your final message for them now?
Trust the cycles of life and the seasons of those in them.
There is a natural and perfect order to life.
While you may be tempted to seek meaning or a reason for some losses (especially when they are sudden, gone too soon or when there is added suffering from a loss), try to stay open and curious.
There is this story from ages past when a man on a horse would come to a village and hear the “bad” stories of how some soldier had died, or a village had been burned down etc. He would say: “Maybe it’s bad, maybe it’s not. I’m not the one to say.
The point is – that is that we often are too quick to determine whether a sad event is really (only) bad, sad, or terrible.
What if it’s not?
What if there is more to the picture than we can see right now?
We aren’t denying the human sorrow that comes from loss, senseless violence, hatred and so on. This is so incredibly real.
We are simply asking you to expand the accordion of perspective to include a bigger picture perspective as well – when/if you can.
Not everything is just bad or good.
There is always more that comes from situations as we’ve explained and this includes grief.
We hold you tenderly. We know these are tenuous times and that your hearts, minds and nerves are fragile.
But remember that the sun is still coming up, you are still here, and that life still has a lot it wishes to contribute to you as well.
We send you so much love and blessings until next time.