I am getting married in 10 days. Eek 🙂
While navigating the final preparations and this new journey I’m stepping into, I have begun reflecting on rites of passage.
The definition in google that I found for rite of passage was:
“A ritual or ceremony signifying an event in a person’s life indicative of a transition from one stage to another, as from adolescence to adulthood. A ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life, especially birth, puberty, marriage, and death. ”
Wikipedia goes on to specific the 3 specific stages of rites of passage:
“Rites of passage have three phases: separation, liminality, and incorporation, as van Gennep described.
“I propose to call the rites of separation from a previous world, preliminal rites, those executed during the transitional stage liminal (or threshold) rites, and the ceremonies of incorporation into the new world postliminal rites.”
In the first phase, people withdraw from their current status and prepare to move from one place or status to another. “The first phase (of separation) comprises symbolic behavior signifying the detachment of the individual or group … from an earlier fixed point in the social structure.” There is often a detachment or “cutting away” from the former self in this phase, which is signified in symbolic actions and rituals. For example, the cutting of the hair for a person who has just joined the army. He or she is “cutting away” the former self: the civilian.
The transition (liminal) phase is the period between states, during which one has left one place or state but has not yet entered or joined the next. “The attributes of liminality or of liminal personae (“threshold people”) are necessarily ambiguous.”
In the third phase (re-aggregation or incorporation) the passage is consummated [by] the ritual subject.” Having completed the rite and assumed their “new” identity, one re-enters society with one’s new status. Re-incorporation is characterized by elaborate rituals and ceremonies, like debutant balls and college graduation, and by outward symbols of new ties: thus “in rites of incorporation there is widespread use of the ‘sacred bond’, the ‘sacred cord’, the knot, and of analogous forms such as the belt, the ring, the bracelet and the crown.”
The full reference you can read here.
And we are all experiencing change; and many real rites of passage from losing family members, moving homes, transitioning our work and more.
And while there are definitely more literal versions of a rite of passage like mine, they aren’t confined to them by any means.
Perhaps the greatest rite of passage our souls are invited into is our own spiritual awakening.
I have seen this happening to so many of my friends and clients as well.
This process is an invitation to die unto ourselves, to die to the version of ourselves that has expired and to step into a deeper, more vibrant and more expansive version of who we are invited to become.
And ritual and symbolism are an important part of the process.
This is illustrated through purging of physical items, cutting off hair, changing wardrobes, losing weight, getting a tattoo, changing our business direction/re-branding and so on. The cutting off and anchoring in of a new of way of being are a core part of the process.
The journey of spiritual awakening can feel similar to a marriage or another type of rite of passage.
On the path you find that:
The person who you identified yourself as, is no longer.
The items, people, places, things that once meant something, you resonate with no longer.
The ways of doing things that worked, work no longer.
Your perspective of the world, your past, yourself in it and how you show up, changes.
Your way of doing things solo, becomes an invitation to look beyond yourself, the greater good and to see how you want to show up differently.
From a spiritual awakening or expanded consciousness perspective, I see it as a letting go of trying to figure life by ourselves and to melt into our soul; our inner knowing and to co-create with our intuition, our awareness and our Higher Selves.
It’s a time to co-create with Universal energies and to embrace the Oneness of our experience rather than creating in a vacuum.
It’s a time of Union or dare I say a Re-Union with ourselves; a coming home to our Divinity.
I see it as an invitation to going from a “me to a we” way of being.
And throughout the process, there may be resistance, some grief and sadness, a lot of not knowing what’s coming next, frustration that you don’t’ know the “how” or the what or the where”.
Except there is a knowing or a shifting into new waters that you know is exactly where you are meant to be next.
And yes, the process can feel scary. The fears, the doubts, the unknowns, the WTF moments will come up.
This is the purging phase of the old.
This is the time for SPACE; TRUST; ALLOWANCE; RECEIVING.
So, what if it isn’t your job to know anything more than what you do right now?
What if you only job is to stay present; to stay curious; and to be kind towards yourself?
Despite the desire to rush through the discomfort of the unknown, rites of passage cannot be rushed.
They are to be savoured, leaned into, like you do with your favourite chocolate lava cake or most decadent gelato.
Let the experience explode throughout your being and envelope you.
In these times, like no other, surrendering is our best ally.
By surrendering I mean a letting go of the resistance; of the need to control, fix or manipulate an outcome. A downgrading of the logical mind and an upgrade to listening to your soul’s guidance and essence.
It’s more an allowing; a surrender into the flow of what IS rather than how you think things SHOULD BE.
Throughout this period, especially in the liminal (second phase) described above when you are in the gap of where you were an where you want to be, is the time to stay open and connected to yourself. The answers are coming in their time. This is the chrysalis.
It’s an initiation.
It’s definition: “the action of admitting someone into a secret or obscure society or group, typically with a ritual; “rituals of initiation”; the action of beginning something.
You are starting a new phase, chapter on your soul’s journey.
Whether you are going through a literal rite of passage such as mine or in a life transition, grant yourself grace and the SPACE (energetic and physical) to step into what’s coming into form next.
A great resource, coincidentally a famous book by Alex’s father on the topic of rites of passage and liminality is The Ritual Process: Structure & Anti-Structure by Victor Turner.
This is my last week at work for the next month as I fully savour this rite of passage with our close friends and family and celebrate a milestone that has taken 44 years to come to pass.
Throughout this rite of passage time, preparing for our wedding,I have also been navigating the unknown of deepening of my own spiritual awakening. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I’m questioning my work, my purpose, what brings me true joy and it has led me to go deeper within myself: which is coincidentally what I’ve resisted most.
Perhaps this is one of the gifts of a rite of passage; is how it leads us exactly where we NEED to go; which can be precisely what we’ve resisted the most. Aren’t our souls just so wise?
Thanks to my colleague Alexis, who challenged me to spend 7 straight days in my Akashic Records asking for daily messages; I have begun truly living my message and leading from my Soul. It’s been terrifying, exhilarating, enlightening and humbling…. And the start of a truly new way of being.
It’s also been an opening to step into more spiritual leadership and mentoring – teaching you how to connect more deeply to yourself and to trust your inner knowing in a much deeper way.
From this came the inspiration for a new offering I’ll be launching August 6th called:
SOUL CONNECT – A 28 day soul journey back to yourself.
In this DIY program, I teach you how to access your soul; your Higher Self, so you co-create from a space of infinite wisdom and guidance and allow that to inform your decisions.
The program is very spacious, experiential and easy to follow and is only $97.
The program includes weekly prompts, meditations and energetic clearings in the Akashic Records, a Facebook group that will remain for 2 months so you can still do it at your own pace and have the community witnessing and support with me in there.
I am so proud of this program because it teaches you to find your own answers within and to navigate your inner landscape of Divine guidance and infinite abundance and wisdom.
If the Soul Connect program speaks to you, you can sign up now and receive a bonus abundance meditation AND a bonus group channeling to set the stage for your initiation back to yourself- your SOUL.
I will be sending you more information about the program in the coming weeks when I’m back to work.
However, if this offering is what your soul has been asking for, you can reserve your spot now. You can do it at your own pace even or after you are on vacation.
What are you most desiring to feel right now?
For me, it’s been inner peace and I have found it within myself as I’ve connected to my Soul.
And the same is possible for you too.
During times when we seek more connection and comfort, there is no better place to find these within yourself.
Let yourself be your best refuge and connect to your Higher Self; your Soul.
As I sign off before heading into my own initiation, I invite you to TRUST YOURSELF AND YOUR PROCESS.
You don’t have to try to try so hard, to push or to figure everything out.
Start to allow; ask for guidance and messages and RELAX.
And go within.
All is well. You are not behind schedule.
Let go of the worry and the doubt and lean into what’s true for you; especially if it feels uncertain, shaky and totally new.
What’s the perfection in the phase of life that you are in now?
I’m signing off for now with so much love.
To your sweet success!
P.S.: If you want to read about our love story and wedding, you can visit our wedding website here. I’ll be posting wedding photos on there too.