Sweet One,
This weekend I became initiated as a Deeksha giver. Deeksha means blessing in Sanskrit.
Deeksha is a divine energy transfer which creates a neurobiological shift in the brain freeing you from the suffering created by the mind, and attuning the brain to higher level of awareness.
Since receiving a blessing at a personaI development course a few years I knew I wanted to be able to share this gift with others.
It was a gorgeous ceremony and it came at THE perfect time.
You see, last week I had a BIG AHA moment (i.e. a breakdown) that led to a big learning opportunity.
I hopped on the phone with a colleague whose work I respected to discuss ways in which we could collaborate.
Within the first 15 seconds of our call, I instinctively knew she wasn’t an energetic match for me.
My body screamed: “get off the phone NOW, Priscilla.”
The polite good girl in me, however, said “don’t be rude, don’t ruffle feathers and prove your worthiness to this woman.”
She proceeded to ask me very detailed questions about my business which are the equivalent of my asking you how much you make a year and how many sexual partners you’ve had.
Yuck.
I watched myself – baffled – as I continued answering her questions robotically, all the while knowing that what I was doing was out of alignment.
When I hung up I felt nauseous, I had a pounding headache and I felt energetically VIOLATED.
Why was I doing something that felt so wrong?
In that moment, I felt blocked and couldn’t say what I wanted to say.
The words got literally stuck in my throat.
After so much healing, I thought I had gotten better at speaking my truth without fear.
I was wrong.
Then I was pissed at myself.
I had a Britney Spears moment of. Oops I did it AGAIN.
I didn’t speak up.
I withheld my truth.
I had put this woman on a PEDESTAL, because of my perceived notion of her knowledge, expertise, years in business, supposed income level, ABOVE my inner knowing.
I shrunk.
I noticed the trigger. I was speaking to a person of authority. I noticed that if someone is older, smarter, and richer etc. then I can easily allow myself to believe they are BETTER than me. That’s not true.
It STUNG.
I was stunned. I was disappointed in myself.
Then to make it worse, I mentioned a version of my experience on Facebook and had a mentor private message me and tell me that I should handle this issue because it was a recurring pattern that was holding me back!
Great – now my dirty laundry was out there too.
Our truth is our soul speaking to us. When we withhold our truth, we violate a piece of our soul via @sweetpathgirl. {Tweet it}.
So, what happened?
We often create patterns so we feel safe.
We want to belong.
We want to coexist with others.
We want to be liked and we want external approval.
It is a tribal human need for safety. This need is so powerful that we will engage in unhealthy choices for that perceived sense of safety.
It is only when we start noticing toxic effects from these habits that we may have the opportunity to realize that it’s time to revisit and repurpose those patterns.
Sometimes the patterns stem from childhood.
I realized that this pattern of bowing down and taking abusive behavior that was highly violating to my spirit was an old, deep pattern from my childhood.
This was the second time I had allowed myself to feel deeply violated in a month. The first was in my personal relationship.
Now it was also showing up in my business.
An issue will keep showing up so that you can heal it. It’s not there to punish you. Rather, it’s an opportunity to grow, get the lessons and set yourself free.
In both cases I knew the moment I felt violated and I chose to override it for a bigger need – to not offend anyone and to play “nice.”
The truth is that patterns come in cycles and in layers. You may heal deep wounds but sometimes there are spinoffs that emerge and that show you where you still have some healing work to do.
Learning to speak our truth is directly correlated with our ability to value ourselves.
Until we value ourselves and the value we provide to others, others won’t value us via @sweetpathgirl. {Tweet it}.
We treat others to treat us. However we can’t do that until we start standing up for ourselves and realizing that it is safe to speak our truth.
So if you’re not speaking up for yourself in your relationships, ask yourself what may still need some loving attention and healing.
The first step is to notice the triggers that stop us in our tracks.
Then, notice the needs that not speaking up triggers. For example, if you stay quiet, you may find safety in avoiding confrontation and uncomfortable situations. Perhaps, you may be afraid that if you speak your truth there will be ugly repercussions and people will abandon you.
Then, notice the limiting beliefs keeping you from speaking your truth.
Sit with this.
Keep going a layer deeper each time.
Then start proclaiming some affirmations:
- It is safe to speak my mind.
- It is safe to speak my truth
- It is safe to value my truth over what others think of me
- It is safe to be honest over being nice
If you have a hard time speaking up, it’s probably because it didn’t feel safe to do so when you were a child.
Speak to that young child in you and tell her that she is safe. That no one will harm her. She is bigger, wiser and stronger now and she can take good care of herself without painful repercussions.
I’ve noticed an unspoken terror of being disliked and of people roaring back at me when I speak up.
It is so powerful that it often overrides the natural instinctive desire to simply say what I want to say when I want to say it, WHEN I want to speak it.
I have spent several hours in my soul’s records healing this and the learnings have been humbling, beautiful, liberating and profound.
As we undergo a healing of a deeply seated wound, let us be kind, patient and compassionate.
Ingredients to going through a healing experience: Love, Compassion, Forgiveness, Patience, Presence and more love.
There is a quick tendency to judge and to control the process. Rather, just observe, be curious and allow things to flow at their pace on their own.
One of the most liberating gifts we can give ourselves is the freedom to speak our truth freely, unabashedly and safely.
I know that you have an EPIC dream, vision and desire waiting to be birthed in the world. I’m committed to you speaking your truth and sharing it with the world.
Your voice is needed.
Your voice matters in the world.
I want to help you.
My invitation to you:
If you have been struggling to speak your truth and have been feeling stuck by your own patterns, respond to this email by saying “I’m IN” and we’ll schedule a 30 minute “I Speak My Truth” Strategy Session with me.
I have 5 spots available.
During our time together we will:
- Uncover the #1 limiting belief stopping you from speaking your truth
- Create an action plan to get you moving forward faster and successfully
To grab your spot, just REPLY to THIS EMAIL and on the subject line say “I’m IN.”
This opportunity isn’t for everyone.
This invitation is for you if you are ready to take action and start speaking your truth. If you are only looking for advice, please allow someone else to take the spot.
Here’s to you proclaiming your sweet truth!
