You may have heard the backlash to the motivational speaker and author, Rachel Hollis’ video over the weekend. She puts down her housekeeper, blames her team for her response to the backlash and gives a non-apology when she realizes how insensitive and inappropriate her comments were.
There’s no accountability or personal responsibility. We wonder if she even understands the negative impact she’s had with her ramblings.
And yet this isn’t about Rachel, per se, as she is an example of many other people like her in the world.
This is about leaning in to how we choose to respond when we are confronted with really poor signs of leadership (or lack thereof).
This goes for whether you know and respect them or not.
Personally, my first instinct is to freeze as I don’t really know what to say.
More specifically, I’m afraid of sounding stupid, misinformed or of generating conflict so I lean on what others are saying instead of sharing my own opinion.
I realize that you too may want to respond but not know exactly what to say in the moment or how to say it.
If this has become a pattern you too would like to shift out of, let’s explore some options for you to find your voice.
Because the truth is that incidences of poor leadership will continue to show up.
And staying silent won’t always be the best way for you to respond.
I don’t have the magic pill answer except to remind you that the answer already lies within you.
The truth is that different scenarios may trigger different emotions and in turn a different response.
But if you know that feeling gagged by your own discomfort with responding isn’t ideal and you desire a different approach, let’s explore it together.
Here are some initial thoughts to ponder:
- What is it about the situational lack of leadership or misuse of leadership that bothers you?
- Is your response related to a personal experience you’ve had in a similar situation?
- If you are triggered by the action, is there something within you and your personality that you are equally triggered by? For example if you are repulsed or highly judgmental, is there something about yourself that you are repulsed by or highly judgmental about?
- How would you like to respond to the situation if you felt safe to do so and you trusted your voice and your expression?
- Does the situation require a verbal expression or is it something for you to deal with by yourself or with your team?
- Do you have avenues within your company or your team to safely and effectively bring up uncomfortable conversations?
- If the situation affects you personally, what actions will you take to address them and to rectify them? Do you have certain policies in place in your company to address uncomfortable conversations?
The first step is to notice, how you tend to respond when you hear of these types of acts of poor leadership.
- Do you retreat?
- Do you make yourself respond because you think you should and it’s the right thing to do?
- Do you want to say something but you’re afraid of looking bad or of recrimination?
Start where you are.
Now take a deep breath. Connect to your personal power. When you are there, ask yourself and your Higher Self what your process would be to respond to certain situations or a particular situation fully trusting yourself with your unfolding process.
I really enjoyed Trudi Lebron IG video response to the Rachel Hollis incident.
A part of me wishes I can be that vulnerable and eloquent in response to poor leadership. I’m not there yet. And today’s post is a start.
As Trudi says in her video, being in charge does not a leader make. It’s a title, it’s not taking fully responsibility for how you show up and the impact that you have.
We do have an opportunity in our work to use our platforms for good.
Leadership isn’t about perfection or not messing up. We live in a highly imperfect world, after all.
Leadership is about the willingness to do better in spite of our humanity and consciously choosing to make the world a better place whenever possible.
More and more we will continue to call out and demand more of our leaders.
You get to play a role in using your platforms for good and being that demand for better as you do better yourself.
There is no playbook for this. The answers lie in your heart, your caring, and in following (and expressing) your Truth.
Let the fear of getting it wrong be smaller than the fear of being genuine – even if it is messy, not entirely eloquent or scary.
To your sweet success,